Showing My Colors

Somehow, I have adopted the phrase “show your colors” into my vocabulary.  It’s become a personal reminder to love myself, to be who I am, and to encourage others to be free to be themselves.  One of my favorite song lyrics is, “if ignorance is bliss, why they still bitchin’?”  When I tell myself or someone else to show your colors, that’s usually what I’m trying to get at–be yourself, fuck what they say you should be, because you’re only good at being you.  In being myself, I’ve found that it’s easier to point to something I’ve written rather than try to explain it on demand.  Just like A Little Bit About them… this page is an explanation of sorts, readily available for anyone who’s curious.  It saves me much frustration and anxiety during interactions and dialogues, and it gives you a good idea of how I work.

 

Mood Colors

 

I knew a long time ago that “feelings” didn’t make sense to me and I could never describe them, but COLORS do.  So, I’m starting this thing where I describe my mood in colors and with different scales for proximity, energy and anxiety levels, and communication preferences.  I like this because I feel like less of a freak—like it’s not that I can’t say what I’m feeling, I just say it in a totally different way than most people.  I’ll be updating this from time to time, as I learn how to put words (and colors!~) to what I experience.

NOTES:

Proximity Level (P)

1 – 10 scale; 1 is okay with physical contact, 5 is little contact but people can still be around me, and 10 is no one around me and no physical contact

 

Communication Preference (C)

-3 – 3 scale and refers to my willingness and /or ability to communicate; -3 is no communication and not willing, 0 is indifferent, and 3 is easily able and willing to communicate.

 

Energy Level (E)

1 – 5 that refers to how much energy I have for interactions with others, accomplishing daily tasks, etc.; 1 is low energy, 5 is high energy

 

Anxiety Level (A)

-3 – 3 scale that refers to my anxiety levels, with -3 being panicked, 0 being mildly irritated or stressed, and 3 being calm or anxiety-free

0  ~  0  ~  0

 

redviolet

Red-Violet

A: 1

E: 1 – 3

P: 7 – 9

C:  -1

 

 

yellowred

Yellow-Red

A: -3

E: 2 – 3

P: 9 – 10

C:  -3

 

 

orangeglow

Orange Glow

A: 2 – 3

E: 3 – 5

P: 1 – 3

C:  2 – 3

 

 

bluegrey

Blue-Grey

A: -2 —  -3

E: 1 – 2

P: 7 – 10

C:  -1 – -3

 

pink flare

Pink Flare

A: 3

E: 5

P: 1 – 3

C: 3

 

 

vibrant purple

Vibrant Purple

A: -1 – 3

E: 2 – 5

P: 5 – 10

C: -3 – 1

 

bold blue

Bold Blue

A: 3

E: 4 – 5

P: 1 – 3

C: 1 – 3

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