This is just another dear daddy post:
another child whining and wishing that they were loved most
by a man who brought them into this world and makes a kid wish
they can take themselves out–or maybe that’s just me.
Here I am, another punk-ass kid with macho pride,
trying to act like that man doesn’t make him cringe, sick inside.
Just another daddy’s girl wishing she were his whole world
but stuck starving herself invisible, purging herself into oblivion.
Dear Daddy, I hope you forget that I exist because it
would be better for both of us. But we never take the easy road
in this so-called family, so I hope you never see me again.
I hope you think of me and it brings you regret and pain.
I hope you always keep wondering if there’s a way for you to fix
me. But there’s not, and it’s too late, and I hope that fact nags
at the back of your mind while I take off, soar, fly.
You will be stuck on the ground and I will pass over you
as I am enveloped in the warmth of my own Sun.
I hope it blinds you, trying to follow my flight. I hope you crash and burn
time after time, because I am not going to be tied down to you
forever. I will cut you off, set you free to walk to the ends of the earth,
while I make my home among sunsets and clouds
and the bliss of the heavens. Dear Daddy, save your memory
of who you think I am. I’ll never think of you as a Father. Dear Daddy,
don’t call me your daughter, because she’s dead and has been
since I was five. Dear Daddy, I am the son that will haunt your dreams.