Blissfully Existing


It’s 2:30 in the afternoon.  I ended up sleeping for maybe an hour, before I had to get up for church.  The sermon was good, yet gave me a bittersweet feeling.  This was my last Sunday there for a while, as my parents are relocating to another state and I’m off to school by week’s end.  I said goodbye to a few dear friends, gave hugs, and breathed out a sigh.  There’s a sort of tenderness that comes with having to say goodbye.  Sometimes it’s heartfelt, and other times it’s bitter, but farewells sharpen the sensitivity of the soul.  Imagine: years could pass before seeing them again.  And for some, it might be the last time.  This isn’t pessimism, of course.  It’s perspective.

The day has been perfect.  Yes, I woke up at 3 this morning after only four or so hours of sleep and a terrible knot of nerves the night before.  Yes, I only have a few more days left here in this state.  Yes, I have a daunting school year ahead of me that I’m not entirely sure how I feel about.  Yes, there is a mountain of uncertainty in front of me, an eternity of bank pages and unseen plot twists.  But today has been and will continue to be perfect, and here are a few reasons why:

 

-the whir of an electric mixer, the smell of freshly baked sweet-bread, culminating in the warm delicious perfection of the exact middle piece of coffee cake 

-the sizzle of a hot skillet as you scramble eggs, fry bacon

-the strong bitter-sweet taste of drinking a liquid blanket coffee, warm and cozy

-soothing electronica with enough bass to pulse through you, keeping steady time as words spill out on the screen

-the lingering smells in a kitchen recently cooked in

-the hot and hazy humidity that sheaths you in a second skin, dog days of summer, long and lazy

-the promise of friendship, family, angels, soul twins

 

There is plenty to be grateful for, and not just int he month of November.  I am filled with joy.  In fact, I am overflowing, radiating, with contentment and gratitude.  This is how it feels to be glowing orange.  I am bursting with love, with life, with hope.  My heart is revived, pumping fierce; my lungs ready to embrace every moment of every breath I take.  Evidently when I got dressed today, I was anticipating this abundant sense of peace and alive-ness.  I leave you with the words of my t-shirt:

We each have a purpose, so make each breath worth it.  

 

Beloved

Advertisements

About thefreescribbler

My life is one of words. I am a scribbler, whose thoughts are best expressed through adjectives and phrases and punctuation marks. I would not go so far as to call myself a writer, although many would disagree. I’m characterized more by my unfinished works and half-embodied ideas, scraps of stories and parts of poems. Maybe one day I’ll be a writer, but I’m okay with being a scribbler right now. It fits my personality and style, and best expresses my aims. I’m not trying to create some lofty version of literature. I’m just a kid blogging about life. View all posts by thefreescribbler

Thoughts? Reactions?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: