Monthly Archives: December 2012

Absolutely Afraid

Can you taste it?  Can you feel it tingling down your spine?  Keep the brave face, but your eyes give you away.  You’re deathly afraid.  Your knees might not shake and your hands may not tremble, but you know it.  They might not see it right away, but if they got close enough, they would know it too.

For the most part, you can push past it.  You manage to live the daily life.  There are times, however, when it takes a hold of you.  Paralyzed and panicking, your brain shuts down.  You can’t think.  You can’t scream.  You can’t run.  All you can do is pray to God that it will pass quickly.

Then the memories start to flood in.  Shouting matches from your childhood.  Broken trust that was never corrected.  Wrongs done to you that you can never forget.  You see the images.  You sense the weight.  And forgiveness is, seemingly, impossible.  Even further away is redemption.

You peek through your hands, one eye covered and one eye staring at the monsters you face.  Somehow you can’t bear to look, but you also can’t bear to look away.  Years may have passed, but nothing has changed.  You’re the same child who’s scared, broken and scarred. 



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